Relationships

Are You A Drama Queen?

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Ever wonder if the reason you’re single is due to your attitude? Sometimes we tend to put the blame on others, without self-assessing ourselves. Characteristics of proactive vs reactive women:

Do you express what you want or Hope someone can read your mind?
Are you trying to find a solution or Adding to the problem?
Do you support others or tell them they’ll never make it?
Do you have your own hobbies or act needy for attention?
Are you looking for an equal partner or a support system?

No man is looking for a woman who can’t supportive of his dreams. He needs to feel needed, appreciated and able to count on you when times get tough. If you’re always nagging about this or that why would he want a relationship with you? You need to have your own hobbies to keep busy and focus on bettering the relationship. If it be financially, spiritually, or personal growth. When you become too needy for attention you’re consuming up too much of someone else life and become a burden. Learn how to express yourself when you want something. No one and I repeat no one is a mind reader. Yes, some believe in psychics, but I doubt you’re dating one. Had a rough day at work? Talk about it so you’re not boggling your emotions. It’s best you’re a drama-free woman and not a drama-queen.

How do you know if you’re dating a drama-queen? Leave a comment below and I can help you figure it out!

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Searching For Attention

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Browsing through Instagram yesterday; I came across a picture that got me thinking. How important is it to have meaningful relationships? By, not just dealing with people to seem cool, but having tangible relationships with them. I see so many people posting images, seeking attention for all the wrong reasons. Attention is a helluva drug. We all want it; but at what cost? Do we risk losing our self-worth or degrade ourselves for it? Humans need their ego’s boosted. We thrive off feeling important. You have to differentiate between meaningful attention vs. popularity attention. Ask yourself: what are you really gaining from likes from strangers on your exposed photos? Or, are you seeking likes to help boost your confidence?

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Photo credit by http://www.flickr.com/photos/deeplifequotes/8689281173/

Focusing on if you get likes on your photos only weakens your confidence. “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”, which means what you see as beautiful someone else might not understand your vision. Have people in your life that will support you and your dreams by helping you reach them. Not by showing off your body to strangers on Instagram for popularity. But, by pushing you to stay on the right path to reach your goals. If you’re seeking attention, try finding it through people whom are driven and determined to get success. Find friends that are working towards their dreams, so they can influence you to work towards yours. Be a positive influence in life by showing the world your achievements, not by revealing how great you look naked. Trust me ladies, men like women that’s driven with goals. Yes, they like to chase after women that come easy, but keep in mind. Easy come easy go.

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Photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/celestinechua/10440763555/

Heart To Heart

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Good friends are hard to find, solid ones are rare, and trusting them can be challenging. When you have supportive friends that you can call on in your life it’s a blessing. Feeling overwhelmed and lonely, I reached out to a childhood friend to console me. As soon as my girlfriend picked up and asked how I was, she immediately knew I wasn’t doing well. I started crying. I knew I could release my emotions to her without judgement. I told her through sobs and tears what was bothering me. She listened and right away I felt better. She told me “you’re a strong woman, and people think you can handle everything because you’re strong, I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you and I will do better.” Hearing those words made me realize how much I missed her being in my life and why she’s one of my best friends. She understands me and knows that I’m a sensitive person, who needs a little love every now and then. As women we carry our stress as weight on our shoulders; fearing if we express ourselves others will twist our emotions and use them against us.

I’m very thankful to have true friends in my life. They helped me develop who I am today. Even when we think we don’t want to worry others with our problems, it’s best to reconnect with your loved ones. Encourage each other and support one another. That one phone call helped bring my confidence back and I felt loved again. I thank the special people in my life who support me and believe in me. You guys mean the world to me. To my followers who read my blog posts, thank you for the support and I pray I will help you in anyway I can when you need someone to relate to. We might not know each other, but we’re dealing with the same challenges in life. Let’s work on them together!

Who do you lean on when you need a heart to heart?

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Never Give Up On Your Dreams

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We’re all blessed with many talents. It’s up to us to use them wisely. In honor of Dr Martin Luther King, I’m sharing his famous speech “I have a dream”. Dream big, go for what you want in life, and never let anyone tell you it’s not possible.

xo

Could You Handle A Platonic Relationship With The Opposite Sex?

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Let’s say you’re currently in a relationship with someone, you met someone new. You’re attracted to this person; you also don’t want the chemistry between the two of you to diminish. Could you have a platonic relationship with them? Just the other day I was walking down the street and a guy approached me asking if I could exchange numbers with him. I wasn’t into him so I simply replied that I was already in a relationship and there would be no need for me to give him my number. He then says ” Well I could be your buddy and we can simply just hang out”. This lead me to think. Would it be possible to be in a committed relationship, and another relationship with the opposite sex? Grant it we all interact with the opposite sex daily; I’m talking about someone you might have feelings for. I just don’t think I’ll be able to control myself from the alluring thoughts that would come to mind. Would I tell my significant other about them? Or do I keep it a secret fearful of potentially alarming them?

Situations like these pretty much can lead toward destroying a good relationship. Ever hear the old phrase “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is”? If you have strong willpower and know you could handle a position as such, than by all means do your thing. I on the other hand can’t take a risk playing with fire. I’ve learned from past mistakes trying to juggle multiple relationships. It’s too time consuming, plus you can’t give the one that matters all your attention. Have a friend of the opposite sex, but make sure they’re not someone you secretly wish you could see naked. Have boundaries with them, making sure there are lines that can’t be crossed. Example, not seeing each other getting undressed, no hugging below the waist, and they must get along with your significant other. You don’t want someone preying on you while you’re confiding in them, and they’re giving you malice information so they can slide right in. Just be careful with whom you call a friend and watch out for frenemies!

Have you ever dealt with a platonic relationship? Please share a story.

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The Time Is Now…

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“For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe” Philippians 4:13-15

Happy Friday!

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How Deep Is Your Love?

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Ever feel so deeply in love that you start to lose focus? Maybe you’re in a marriage, committed relationship, or dating someone new. Your brain can interfere with staying focused. Recently I read an article from Men’s Health that breaks down how your body reacts when you’re near your Boo. You can check it out here. After reading I recalled those times I actually felt butterflies in my stomach. An anxious, nervous feeling around the person I was crushing on. Re-checking myself in the mirror, making sure lipstick wasn’t smeared on my teeth or tart breath. Focusing on my exterior and not my interior, I blocked my natural attributes to shine. Didn’t realize I was displaying signs of insecurity not confidence. I’m sure I ran a few guys off from potentially pursuing a relationship.
If you ask me today how deep is my love? I’ll say the love I have for myself is unbreakable. I know I can’t expect someone to love me if I truly don’t love myself. Yes, I learned the hard way when it comes to dating and it was well worth it. I now love everyone in my life deeply, the good and the bad. But I don’t expect anyone to love me as much as I love myself. All I ask is to respect me and love me for my flaws and all. No longer feel the need to over compensate for my shortcomings. I’m opening up other sides of me for others to like/love. I’m silly without worry of judgement. Able to cry without hiding my tears. I’m human and a woman that’s connected to her emotional side. So love deep, but love yourself first.”Have a perfect love for imperfect people”

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Having Friends vs Foes Around You

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Are you surrounded by friends or frenemies? You know the ones that claim they’re your best friend til the end. Until they get behind your back, then they’re dragging your name in the mud. Telling all your secrets while smiling in your face. Yeah, they are who we call “frenemy friends”. Some people can’t be real with others; in addition to thriving off of someone else’s misery. You have to pay attention to the warning signs from these spiteful people. A few malicious characteristics I’ve noticed are: always asking about your business and never telling you theirs. The one that sits in the background scooping out what everyone else is doing. They let you leave the house looking a hot mess without telling you it’s not a good idea. Or they’re hitting on your significant other when you’re not looking.

A real friend is someone you trust, that’s there when you need them. Someone that never allows anyone to talk bad about you when you’re not around. They want to see you do well in life. They are supportive, understanding, caring, loving, and forgiving. You share your hopes and dreams with them. True friends will tell you it’s not a good idea dyeing your hair blonde because it’s the latest trend. They have their own identities; without emulating yours.

” Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other is gold.”-Susan J. Ellis. Hold on to those friends that sticks closer to you than a brother. Have girls night with them frequently. Even if you don’t live in the same city or state with your true friends. It’s never too late to connect with them and tell them you love them. Spread love people, not hate.

“For he that is not against us is for us”-Luke 9:50

How many true friends can you say you have in your life?

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Photo by http://tvlistings.zap2it.com/tv/frenemies-loyalty-turned-lethal/EP01658774?aid=zap2it

New Year’s Resolutions

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A new year is just around the corner and people start planning their New Year Resolutions. Most choose: losing weight, a career change, new hairstyle, quitting smoking, and finally taking a vacation. Unlike the common choices, how about some realistic changes that will help with  progressing your strengths and working on your weaknesses. I like to write out a list of my Top 25 Do’s or Dont’s. Like 25 ways to get you that new job, steps you’re going to take to lose weight, what you did wrong or right in your current-past relationship. Anything that you feel will improve yourself in preparation for the new year.

Here’s my list:

  1. Stay consistent with my blog
  2. Use my reminders on my phone more
  3. Learn to take constructive criticism
  4. Cut back on eating deserts
  5. Get regular teeth cleanings
  6. Join a book club
  7. Stay consistent with my vitamins
  8. Save more money
  9.  Stop procrastinating and just do it
  10. Play with make-up more (I hardly ever wear make-up)
  11. Use public transportation when available (Gas is so high ugh)
  12. Meditate for 10 minutes each day
  13. Actively get involved with more social media sites
  14. Get rid of clothes in my closet, that I know I am not ever going to wear
  15. Workout 5 days a week
  16. Learn Spanish
  17. Volunteer my time more to a charity
  18. Call my family more
  19. Write a to do list everyday
  20. Be an even better girlfriend
  21. Use my cooking books more
  22. Manage my time better
  23. Lose 10 pounds
  24. New stamp in my passport
  25.  Get that tattoo I have always wanted.

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As you see my list is pretty much all over the place but these are the things that I want to carry out in 2014. I suggest printing them out and posting them somewhere you can see daily. Once you complete some of your goals mark them off to show yourself how awesome you are for completing it. Doing these steps towards becoming the new-you will give you peace of mind, improve your health, gain more productivity, and help you reach your goals. What do you look forward to working towards next year?